Someday / everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody / when I paint my masterpiece... -- Bob Dylan
My dad reminded me the other day of an adage? Jesuit teaching? truism? that the closer one gets to one's heart's desires, the stronger the voices of resistance and negativity that rise up against it. This, I can attest, is true.
The last few miles of the race seem the longest. The swimmer hops onto the boat a matter of yards from the other side of the Channel. Cate Blanchett thinks "I guess I could go back to being a shopgirl" after watching the dailies on the set of Elizabeth. Et cetera, et cetera. "My parents' basement in Milwaukee sure is cozy" may not have crossed my mind (yet) but it might as well have.
And I guess it would be "easier" to stay put and throw it in, call the EP a giant learning experience that no one will ever hear, and thereby no one can say it wasn't good enough. But dying a slow death by cubicle doesn't sound like much of a life to me. And it certainly wouldn't feel much like flying.
As one of my college professors put it: You can't win until you say you want it... but once you say you want it, you risk losing it. For my money, you can say you want it all you want... and talk about having it, Someday... but the real risk comes in actually DOING something about it.
Even Bob Dylan sang of the Someday when it would all roll smoothly along. And then he put out the album a long time before Someday.
Because there is no Someday. And I was doing my best to make it through this post without a RENT reference, but it's true... there is no day but today, and there is no masterpiece other than the one we ACTUALLY create, in this world, today. It may not be smooth, it may not be different, it may not be Botticelli, but it's all we've got, and it's enough.